Today's blooper

http://agencyfaqs.com/news/stories/2006/05/01/14885.html
(click to see larger image)




Need i say more?
(Hope this gets changed)

Meetings

Opening line of a telephonic conversation with a client: "Are you in a meeting or are you busy?"
(Thanks to Mangesh Kulkarni)

Michigan Mallige

Following up on this.
Sorry for the corny post title. The original term is Mysore Mallige. Mysore is a city in India that's known for 'Mallige' (that's Jasmine in the Kannada language). Apparently (some say even now) the city used to be permeated with the fragrance of jasmine. The Michigan variety is pretty heady too. Almost got unconscious standing near this tree waiting for the bus. (click for larger images)

Can you get the fragrance?

Princeton

No..not Princeton as in Princeton, NJ, USA. This is about Princeton Academy Mumbai II . Yes, 'Princeton Academy Mumbai II' as opposed to 'Princeton Academy Mumbai I'.
The said academy honoured me be sending me an unsolicited (read - 'spam') mail. Was pure entertainment. Starts off on a very philosphical note: "Time. There's never enough of it". True.

Then go on to check the last line in the print-screen above: 'Have you ever worked your tail off?". No. I have sometimes worked my ass off. But never my tail. Am sure you monkeys at Princeton Academy start with the tail.

Second gem: the last line below:

After attending this workshop, your manager "Will keep the Main Thing the Main Thing". Yes!Yes! Yes! I always wanted to keep the 'Main Thing' the 'Main Thing'. Er, now what is this 'Main thing'?

Third set of gems:

1) They cover the 'Paretoes's principle'. As opposed to Parefingers' principle. Also, can someone sponsor these guys for an English course? [The actual principle is the Pareto's principle - the familiar 80:20 rule (eg. 80% of the consequences stem from 20% of the actions) named after economist Vilfredo Pareto]

2) We'll also learn how to 'use less time putting out fires each day'. Do they also teach us how to create fires? Or is this part of the training exclusive to the fire dept. guys?

3) Also in the agenda is 'Discarding the majority of paper that crosses your desk'. God! Are these guys insane? Or is it just their bad English that's keeping me in splits?

4) Lastly, their claim to fame: "a time management workshop that's actually worth everyone's time!". Well, if it can keep me as entertained as reading this junk, am willing to pay the Rs. 4,300/- they've asked for.

Yea, you heard right- 4300 quid. I don't know why we slog it out rather than do stuff like this. There are enough geezers willing to sign up for such courses. Can you imagine 4300 greenbacks (or Gandhibacks) from even 100 individuals. Wait lemme check...that'ssssss 430,000 bucks. And am sure we can do MUCH better than Princeton Academy Mumbai II.

More Early Spring

Some more pics on popular demand after this
I'll try posting a few pics a day till i run out! Have four snaps today: (click to enlarge):
check the dudes on the right - leather look and all










Look at the glistening leaves! So fresh! Saying all this reminds me of an old Zen tale. I forget who the monks in question were but the story runs that a Zen monk and his master went out for their customary daily walk. The student had just had a mystical experience and as it happens with these experiences, your senses just open up completely - in a sublime way. So the student kept exulting at every thing he saw on the way. And he just couldn't understand why the master wasn't appreciating the beauty:"Sir, don't you think these flowers are a sheer delight".

The reply: "Yes. But what a pity to say so". Isn't that an amazing insight! Participate, Experience, IMMERSE.
Well, i'm like that student in the story right now - so bear with me!

Quote of the day

This was two days back from Sharath Reddy, my flat-mate : "If you want, i'll have tea"
Once again in case you missed it: "If *you* want, *i'll* have tea.
Translation: "I'm feeling really lazy to go and boil some water, so please....and can you also put a tea bag in the cup, pour the boiling water on it, add some milk, then some sugar (only a spoon please). And if you can get this to where i'm sitting right now, that'll be fine".

Slight improvement yesterday:"I don't mind having tea if you are having it as well".

How do you get business with a designation like that?
“Hi, I’m Sharan Sharma, Head of Disruption’
“Oh no, I’ve done enough of that. I came to you to see how you can help me grow my business”

Guess this is the ad. agency implementing the thoughts in ‘Disruption: Overturning Conventions and Shaking Up the Marketplace’ by Jean-Marie Dru. Whatever. Can’t digest ‘Disrpution’ as a designation.

Lastly, congratulations to the news agency for classifying it as ‘Breaking News’. What? You mean there weren’t trying to be punny?

Facing Life

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.'
- Friedrich Nietzsche

What do you call a statistics blog?

A slog!
(got this from Shravan Vasishth's statistics blog)

Juhu - Bombay

This is in response to Sandeep's message on the previous post. This is our very own Juhu beach in Bombay! Sorry for the bad quality but this was taken from a mobile phone (sometime last year).


Sandeep and I used to go on long walks on Juhu every other fortnight (after profuse apologizing to his wife, Anu - we used to not take her along!) discussing a lot of things...as with any other normal human being, we never tired of watching the waves, the sky and especially the sunset.

And the sky used to broadcast special messages to its patrons - at least those who cared to watch and not hog 'bhel puri' - on this day, check the nice heart sign its made! Wonder if it was some 'healthy heart day' or that blessed Valentines day - if it was, then am sure this was just God getting sucked into the marketing cesspool.

Some more Juhu snaps follow. I like the first one of the following the best. Not for anything else, but can you see how even the bhel-puri crowd is just awestruck. Practically everyone seems to be just watching the show! There's hope for culture!

And the creme de la creme...

What is this? Its a loootttttt of people waiting patiently in a queue to go to the loo - the sole loo at Juhu beach at this entrance, not counting the unofficial ones (namely, the entire stretch of the beach) . I have never ventured inside this loo but confirmed sources tell me there are a full 5 filthy urinals inside - that's a lot given that are just about 700 people on the beach on a Sunday evening. yeah! Kudos to the govt.

But to the end this post, what i find heartening is that these folks are actually standing in the line - and might i add, in quite an orderly fashion. Sometimes i think its because of these folks that India is running.

Early Spring!

Sunshine, Budding leaves , Flowers starting to bloom, Life sprouting from every corner... What more can i say?
(Click images for a larger size. I know some of these look picture post-cardish...but what matters is that they look beautiful)

Tree Roots - UM Diag

sahi creative, na?
(translation from Mumbai-Hindi :"That's really creative, ain't it?")

This is just off the 'Diag' UM Central Campus.

(click for a larger image)

Data Misrepresentation

Glaring example of how data is misrepresented.
Check the headline out :

Did you find it as shocking as i did when i saw it? Imagine an average Indian, even if in the top 10 cities, paying 42 bills online annually! Read along, and somewhere in the second line suddenly this becomes 'upto 42 bills'. So what is it? Maximum of 42 , average of 42, what?

Of course, reporting a maximum doesn't make sense so we need to safely assume that the reporting is being done for some average. So you frantically read through the article all the time in the fear that life has completely changed in India and you were blissfully unaware of it.

And then you come across a 'tiny' detail in the article wayyyyyy down....

See the second para? 'the target audience comprised internet users...'. Right. Of course, it would have hurt to have the headline say "Average Indian internet user pays 42 bills online annually'. Note that i am not even putting the fact that the survey was done in the top 10 metros in the headline. I can imagine that making for a very unwieldly headline. But between saying 'top 10 cities' and 'internet users', i do think the latter is more important to declare upfront.

Else, this does make for a very misleading representation, especially given that it's the headline that would stick in most people's head. And hardly anyone's going to bother about searching for the population definition.

To help or not to help?

A good friend of mine here - almost like my elder sister - (let's call her K) is having a rather troublesome time.

She's sharing her apartment with a rather irascible person (lets call her MI i.e Madam Irascible). MI happens to be a divorcee with a 5 year old kid who stays with her and the aprtment's lease is in her name. K was never the target of MI's temper - this was reserved for the haples kid who according to K's reliable reports has been reduced to a ghost of a child. Ever seen a child not laughing at all? I haven't. Well this kid happens to be one such example. That also tells you something about MI.

Anyway, why am i saying all this? It so happens that MI freely used K's help for various things - personal and house related - and K always helped in a spirit of good faith. Till one fine day, MI just came across and said "You know, you left the fan on in the room today. Enough is enough. I hope you'll clear out by the month-end"! Just like that! This was shocking for K to say the least. But the unpleasant part was thinking back on all the help she had given MI. K reached a conclusion: "Do not go out of your way in helping anyone. It's just going to produce heartburn."

Well, i don't agree and let me know what you readers feel.
1) I feel it's our duty to help - especially when requested - even if the other person doesn't reciprocate.
2) When we do that, we become strong internally since we do things without expectation of anything.
3) The only exception i make to not helping someone are with regards to the class of people who are generally nasty to you but suddenly become sweet when they need something. But then again, that just reflects my stage of development. I haven't reached that stage where i can treat everyone on an equal footing.
4) I really would like to come to the stage where i can pray hard to God that i may be helpful to as many people and as many times as possible...irrespective of whether the person is nasty, cruel etc. - where i live for others and not for myself...what's life worth living of not for others? it must be such a joy living for others and having such an attitude.

Please let me know your viewpoints. It'll contribute to my thinking. Specifically, let's take a scenario where MI again approaches K for help. Would you help?

P.S i must confess to the fact that helping others has only caused my ego to grow stronger. "*I* have helped so-and-so". Will work on this - to help without ego, acting as if one were a pure instrument of the divine.

Compassion vs Attachment

This is so tough! As a teacher, you're expected to be compassionate. But it's so easy to also get attached to your students. It starts off with "I really need to see this person do well". Fair enough. And then slowly the sense that the student depends on you to do well. "I'm the only one who can save him/her from failure" Ah! the ego!

After that, the stage where you take the students' success/failure personally. By then you're trapped - you start heaping your expectations on the student. So even if the student is happy getting a 'B' you're all worked up! and the result is that the student also loses his/her peace of mind. You've anyway lost yours a long time back.

So the solution?

Well, one way is the route that the Bhakti Yoga and the Christian tradition maintain - probably easiest practised. To remember that one is just an instrument of God. The teacher has to try her/his best without 'owning' the students. So, since God is compassion, is She not worried about Her children? Will she not guide them? Of course, She will. Even if Her children are unaware of her compassion. Even if She is not thanked and prayed to. So as a teacher one is just God's tool as a conduit for compassion which, of course, shouldn't make one proud. Need to be thankful and pray that one get's more opportunites of being God's instrument.

The other route is the Karma Yoga route. Selfless action. Nishkama Karma as propunded in the Bhagvad Gita. Action for action's sake without attachment to results. Doesn't mean not foing work without drive.

Lastly, the Jnana Yoga route - the path of intellectual discrimination. Attachment to whom? Who is the attached? What is attachment? Figments of mental creation without any absolute reality.

Of course, in practice, all three paths can (and probably should) be practiced together.

Breaking News!

Continuing our tryst with the amazing world of Indian media...todays special:
"I grew up playing marbles and hututu". Who's this? Our very own Bheeshma Pitamaha a.k.a Mukesh Khanna. Got nuthin against Khanna-sab but couldn't the website come up with a better headline? Hututu? That's what they could come up with?

http://indiantelevision.com/exec_life/y2k6/apr/7apr/mylife.htm

P.S - Spelling suggestions for 'hututu' courtesy Microsoft Word - 3 of five are very relevant here - shutout, cutout, putout.