To help or not to help?
A good friend of mine here - almost like my elder sister - (let's call her K) is having a rather troublesome time.
She's sharing her apartment with a rather irascible person (lets call her MI i.e Madam Irascible). MI happens to be a divorcee with a 5 year old kid who stays with her and the aprtment's lease is in her name. K was never the target of MI's temper - this was reserved for the haples kid who according to K's reliable reports has been reduced to a ghost of a child. Ever seen a child not laughing at all? I haven't. Well this kid happens to be one such example. That also tells you something about MI.
Anyway, why am i saying all this? It so happens that MI freely used K's help for various things - personal and house related - and K always helped in a spirit of good faith. Till one fine day, MI just came across and said "You know, you left the fan on in the room today. Enough is enough. I hope you'll clear out by the month-end"! Just like that! This was shocking for K to say the least. But the unpleasant part was thinking back on all the help she had given MI. K reached a conclusion: "Do not go out of your way in helping anyone. It's just going to produce heartburn."
Well, i don't agree and let me know what you readers feel.
1) I feel it's our duty to help - especially when requested - even if the other person doesn't reciprocate.
2) When we do that, we become strong internally since we do things without expectation of anything.
3) The only exception i make to not helping someone are with regards to the class of people who are generally nasty to you but suddenly become sweet when they need something. But then again, that just reflects my stage of development. I haven't reached that stage where i can treat everyone on an equal footing.
4) I really would like to come to the stage where i can pray hard to God that i may be helpful to as many people and as many times as possible...irrespective of whether the person is nasty, cruel etc. - where i live for others and not for myself...what's life worth living of not for others? it must be such a joy living for others and having such an attitude.
Please let me know your viewpoints. It'll contribute to my thinking. Specifically, let's take a scenario where MI again approaches K for help. Would you help?
P.S i must confess to the fact that helping others has only caused my ego to grow stronger. "*I* have helped so-and-so". Will work on this - to help without ego, acting as if one were a pure instrument of the divine.
She's sharing her apartment with a rather irascible person (lets call her MI i.e Madam Irascible). MI happens to be a divorcee with a 5 year old kid who stays with her and the aprtment's lease is in her name. K was never the target of MI's temper - this was reserved for the haples kid who according to K's reliable reports has been reduced to a ghost of a child. Ever seen a child not laughing at all? I haven't. Well this kid happens to be one such example. That also tells you something about MI.
Anyway, why am i saying all this? It so happens that MI freely used K's help for various things - personal and house related - and K always helped in a spirit of good faith. Till one fine day, MI just came across and said "You know, you left the fan on in the room today. Enough is enough. I hope you'll clear out by the month-end"! Just like that! This was shocking for K to say the least. But the unpleasant part was thinking back on all the help she had given MI. K reached a conclusion: "Do not go out of your way in helping anyone. It's just going to produce heartburn."
Well, i don't agree and let me know what you readers feel.
1) I feel it's our duty to help - especially when requested - even if the other person doesn't reciprocate.
2) When we do that, we become strong internally since we do things without expectation of anything.
3) The only exception i make to not helping someone are with regards to the class of people who are generally nasty to you but suddenly become sweet when they need something. But then again, that just reflects my stage of development. I haven't reached that stage where i can treat everyone on an equal footing.
4) I really would like to come to the stage where i can pray hard to God that i may be helpful to as many people and as many times as possible...irrespective of whether the person is nasty, cruel etc. - where i live for others and not for myself...what's life worth living of not for others? it must be such a joy living for others and having such an attitude.
Please let me know your viewpoints. It'll contribute to my thinking. Specifically, let's take a scenario where MI again approaches K for help. Would you help?
P.S i must confess to the fact that helping others has only caused my ego to grow stronger. "*I* have helped so-and-so". Will work on this - to help without ego, acting as if one were a pure instrument of the divine.
posted by Sharan Sharma at 9:04 PM
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